It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
