That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
