I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
