yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
