I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
