Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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