Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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