Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
