How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
