hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I have feelings that need drinking.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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