I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I am naked and annoyed.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
