I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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