I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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