Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
