I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
