If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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