I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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