have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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