I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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