quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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