**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
