there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
