if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
