so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Randomize
