I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
