It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
