going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
