I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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