I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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