I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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