a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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