I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
