I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize