Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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