i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
