apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
