I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
His nipple licking is glorious
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