singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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