So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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