names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
