ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
