How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
