Apparently you make a good broom.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
