How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
