I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
