its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
