I skipped work to stalk him.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Are my feet made of real feet?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize