Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
