haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
