U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
