And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
