i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
