I hate all girls vehemently.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
