I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
