SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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