Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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