I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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