i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
