Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
