This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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