Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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