I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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