So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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