I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Nicole vs. Life
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize